Happiness and Relationships

Diana Guevara



If someone is loved for their core self they will have a better chance of being happy in that relationship. I for one has found this to be true through my romanticized experienced relationships. There was indeed a difference between going into a relationship with someone I barely knew than with someone I got to know ahead of time.

You can never truly love someone if you do not know their core self. Which is why I believe you should always act yourself when you jump into any kind of relationship. Tal Ben-Shahar writes that “The core self comprises our deepest and most stable characteristics -- our character” (Ben Shahar 114). I have jumped into many relationships barely knowing the person and than come to the realization that I either have nothing in common with them or don’t like them in a certain way or at all. I was only lusting after them and their images instead of their core self. In my current relationship my boyfriend and I began a friendship first and learned so much about each other before we began our romantic relationship. Tal Ben-Shahar quotes that “To be loved for our wealth, power, or fame is to be loved conditionally;  to be loved for our steadfastness, intensity, or warmth is to be loved unconditionally” (Ben-Shahar 114). I believe that to be true. My boyfriend has told me himself that I am the one person that he can truly be himself around and I absolutely love it. I love that I learned how he’s understanding, loving, respectful, fun and how he reacts when he is mad and has just won or lost a game in the beginning of our relationship. I love his personality over all. In addition, he also learned so much about me since I realized  I should jump into a relationship fully being myself. My boyfriend has learned to love me for my sensitivity, my kindness, the way I care and put others first, and how I make people laugh. He has learned to love me for my good and bad. Since we have learned about each others personalities before hand it helps improve our emotions to a more happy relationship. This by having the ability to do things that the other likes, being able to work on common ground, spending time do things we both like together, working out our problems, and avoiding others since we know what each other person does and does not like.



Being able to really know who a person is inside has many positive advantages in a relationship. It’s results as shown in my experiences, show that it does truly have a happier, long lasting effect. It helps keep the problems at a balance, helps create happier moments and an overall delightful experience.